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The Fear of Social Media - A Personal Story
Health & Wellness

The Fear of Social Media – A Personal Story

This is the first post in the Reina’s Life section and definitely the most personal post as at now. One of my new year resolutions for this blog is to write more relatable and personal stories. The fear of social media has been a part of me for quite a while – about 3 years or so. Social media gives me chills and I fear it more than failure. In the November 2018 newsletter, I had promised to write this post and here it is. This is my story and how I deal with the fear of social media.

I know there are some out there like me facing this fear of social media. I’m not sure at what age I developed this fear. I have always been a quiet person who loves her own thoughts and space. I feel like social media exposes me to a lot of judgement and criticism that I am not ready to handle and at the same time don’t know how to handle. I’ve seen people get trolled and it scares me so much.

Privacy . . .

For a long time, I have kept my life private – off social media. I try my level best to keep a lot to myself but since I began the blogging journey, my life has taken a complete turn. This is not to say that I no longer have this fear, but I have had to take giant courageous steps to reach where I am.

Privacy gives me a sense of protection. It makes me feel like I am in control of my life and my moods. I am sure that nobody else is judging my life except me. Even now, privacy still remains a big deal. I am still very careful about what I post. Without privacy, you are vulnerable. Being vulnerable to so many people can have its effects. Like…

Depression . . .

Social media can be an amazing yet depressing platform. I have come to learn that it depends on how you use it. It is good to see what is happening out there. It is a great place to keep up with friends and to educate yourself as well as laugh a little. This means that you must follow the right people. The trick comes when you begin to see your friends’ lives and compare it to yours.

I fear social media because it is very easy to fall in the loop of comparing yourself to others. Never do I ever want to find myself posting just to prove that I too have an amazing life. I also do not want to lie that I am having fun but deep inside I am in deep sorrow. Depression starts when you start living a lie and trying to keep up with the lie. When will you ever be happy?

Relationships . . .

Another challenge with social media is relationships. There is enough photos of couple goals. I thank my fear of social media because it kept me away from thinking relationships were all glitters and gold. You see cute photos of a couple on vacation and you think that they spend their life on vacation all happy. Relationships are nothing close to that. Nobody will post that they argued with their partner. Nobody posts their issues. Which brings me to . . .

How come we only post the perfect photos and the happiest moments of our lives and not the times we struggle to find those perfect moments? Better yet, why not post both? Therefore, each time you see couple goals, remember that those are their best moments only and that is not their daily life.

When it comes to relationships, they last longer when you do not put all of your relationship issues on social media.

Anonymous

Comparisons . . .

Social media has created jealous behavior over illusions. Sadly, some are envious of things, relationships, and lifestyles that don’t even exist.

Anonymous

I tend to think it is because we care too much about how the world will perceive us. We spend so much time trying to please a crowd that does not even care about us. This makes me very scared as well. Why would I want to take myself through that?

You scroll through the gallery to find the perfect photo. The question is are you doing it for the likes or to share a special moment? If you do not get the number of likes or views you wanted, will you still be happy?

The thought of feeling like my life is inadequate because of social media makes my fear double. It is easy to say that I won’t compare myself to anybody but with social media… it’s like a drug in one way or another you will get hooked. Even celebrities have admitted to compare themselves because of social media yet according to us, they have the perfect life.

Addictions . . .

It takes discipline not to let social media steal your time.

Alexis Ohanian

You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is check your phone. Before you sleep, you are on your phone. Social media makes you addicted. You spend lots of time scrolling and admiring people’s lives that you forget about your life. Instead of working to be a better person, you work to be like someone else.

When you are with friends, all you are interested in is to share with the world what you are up to. Instead of enjoying the good times, we live them on camera.

Social media can really waste your time and cost you a lot just like any other addiction. This is something I have feared and will always fear hence I spend the least time on social media.

Imagination . . .

I imagine social media to be a place where we share our life both bad and good times. I pray for a time when we will stop searching for perfectionism in the photos and share the goofy and not perfect photos. What if social media was more real? Wouldn’t it be good?

My fear would end if we were more genuine with our story. I wish our profiles would be an inspiration to others. May someone see your life story on your timeline. And again, can we be proud of where we are in life, appreciate ourselves and work towards a better tomorrow today?

Dealing with the fear of social media . . .

Honestly, I haven’t dealt with this fear. At this point I think it is just a part of my life because with time, social media is becoming more complicated. More on this another day.

Generally, I have learnt a few things that help me remain on social media but at the same time still have some time for myself.

1. Limit the time online

You are not missing anything by being offline. Actually, you gain more being offline. Cherish that moment you have. Concentrate on what you are doing. Focus on yourself and better yet read a book or a self-improving article.

Do more things that make you forget to look at your phone.

Anonymous

So that you know even the owners of social media are now starting to care about you; there is a timer you can set for yourself on the app so that it notifies you when time is up.

2. Care less about the numbers

This is very very important. For as long as you are not running a business related to your account, the numbers do not matter. Share something you are proud of and remember not many people care about you online so care less whether they liked it.

3. Choose who you follow wisely

Choose the content you want to see carefully and with wisdom. These are people who should inspire you, motivate you and teach you something new. Some entertainment is also good. Follow sports and hobbies you like. Make sure your timeline is full of content that motivates you to be better. Let it be that when someone looks at our timeline, they can know your dreams and aspirations.

Avoid people who make you feel inferior, jealous and all the bad things. Follow people who bring out the best in you.

Dealing with fear of social media
*!Pin Me!*

Bonus Thoughts

Well, when it comes to social media, I am very cautious. I take care not to overshare. Keep a part of you private and take pride in that. In my opinion, this gives a sense of pride knowing that there is something about you the public does not know.

Then, I have a challenge for you and me to ensure that in every post we post, there is a message to inspire, motivate, guide or enlighten somebody. Let us build each other by adding value to people’s lives. When you start to receive messages that you changed somebody’s life, you will be proud of your work and social media will mean something to you.

Make your life be as amazing as your social media profiles make it seem.

Anonymous

The reason I have never quit social media is because I have never let it define me or where I should be or what I should have. I define my social media!

Finally,

I am ironically going to ask you to follow us on social media! Yes, coz it is part of our job. All the same, we try our level best to give our followers value-adding content. We encourage and motivate you as often as we can.

Comment below if you relate with the fear of social media and what is the one thing that you did or are going to do about it. Looking forward!

Bye!

Reina Janet is a young talented writer and the founder of El Mieles. She believes in making the world the best place for you by inspiring you with her creative writing and personal stories that help you to love life and also solve day to day challenges. Get to know her more.

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