I must admit that I myself am not or was not good at communication until I met Mister. Good news! You’re not alone. He taught me what communication exactly means. It means that if you do not feel like doing something just say it, don’t pretend or assume that someone will know. If things are not working out as per your plan, speak it out. My main worry was that I would hurt someone if I told them the truth. News flash! It hurts less if you talk about it. Communication really changed a lot of aspects of my life and relationship.
Not once or twice have my relationships (friendships per se) ended because I felt that people never understood me. I always had an assumption that my actions are enough to tell you how I feel or what I want. I don’t know where I got such habits though. That meant that I would never tell anybody what I want or what I feel regardless of how bad the situation was. When I could not take it anymore, I found an excuse, blamed it on you and just part ways. The excuse would be you’re not my type and you do not understand me. Ladies are you with me!!
Its simple; you’re communication is below 0%. You’re so afraid to speak that you feel people should naturally understand you and if they don’t, then they are the problem. You are wrong dear. Nobody has time to know what you want by looking at you.
Where there is no communication, you tend to feel like there exists a gap in the relationship and you cannot identify what it is and how to solve it. You’re always sad and feeling lonely even when your partner is right there next to you. You feel like you’re always faking things and pretending to be happy when you actually aren’t. You are always frustrated and feeling like he/she does not get you. You have gone for a million dates and nothing changes. You think you are spending quality time, once a week – really?? Each day, you need quality time. It’s not too much to ask.
Quality time does not mean expensive dates and dinners. Take time and talk and listen to your partner for just five minutes then carry on. The five minutes will become ten and so on. Sooner than later, the emptiness begins to fade away.
Life is so easy when you learn to communicate. Learning how to put words to feelings without hurting anybody is satisfying. There is that pleasure that everybody understands you. Communication is hard when you have very strong stands and you are afraid of what the other person will feel. The truth is, sometimes some things hurt but it is always better to just speak it out.
Relationships really improve once you start communicating because you begin to understand what your friend or partner is feeling and going through. You start to feel like you are a team. There is no team built without communication. When you begin growing a culture of communication; that is, you take time out of your day to tell him/her how your day was, how that guy fell in a hole or how you almost got fired; you begin a happy journey without an end.
A problem shared is half solved.
Who better to share a problem with than him/her? Communication builds trust, love, comfort and brews happiness. Start by sharing the little things, even those you consider irrelevant. Like, how you almost tripped or how you forgot something. Eventually, you will be able to share the hard stuff and it won’t be that hard at the time. It will flow naturally. The trick is to start training yourself now.
Communication also involves listening. Open your ears as wide as can possibly get when your friend or partner is speaking. If there are things that can be rectified, at least show the effort. That’s is the best way to show him/her that you listen when they speak. What, anyway, is the point of speaking and somebody is not listening?
Communication is almost everything you need to keep your relationship strong. Do not take anything for granted even the small things. The small stuff tends to become bigger and eventually resentment kicks in. Stay happy and strong in your relationship/friendship by communicating more. To note, if he/she does not listen to you then I highly doubt that that is a relationship/friendship.
So, do you think communication is the reason your relationships are failing? Leave a comment.