Are you in a healthy relationship? How can you make your relationship healthy? Are you almost giving up on this relationship? You have tried everything and it is not working. Looking up to God might be what you have always missed. These five Bible verses will help you make your relationship healthier and stronger. Whether married or not; for as long as you are in a relationship, these verses will help you lead a more loving and peaceful relationship. We are responsible for how healthy our relationships are.
I always feel extremely sad when couples break up. It doesn’t matter whether I know them personally or not, it just hurts me. Recently a couple I really admired separated. I was extremely shocked especially considering how cute their children were. Has staying together become so difficult? Have we ceased to understand each other and respect each other? And even those still hanging on their relationship, is it healthy?
Healthy Relationship 101
According to Psychology Today, divorce rates have more than doubled in the last four decades. Where are we going wrong?
The Book of Life always has the answers and here they are!
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. ~ Colossians 3:18-19
Ladies listen to your man. Many times we are caught up in having a perfect relationship and ladies, we specifically want our relationship to roll out in a particular way. We are the inventors of ‘bae goals’. Have you ever heard yourself say something like, “Babe, I want us to be goals”? Goals are not pictures. Men do not talk much but when they do; be keen and listen.
Love has very many definitions. Men learn how your lady wants to be loved. There are five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch (which I will cover in another post). Knowing which love language your lady speaks is key to a very peaceful and healthy relationship. That is what she defines love to be and therefore, it is your duty to find out and offer it to her.
Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ~ Ephesians 4:2-3
Relationships have never been perfect. Social media has allowed us to brag about all the happy times we have with our partners and brainwashed us to think that relationships are a walk in the park. It gets tough. You might go through days or even weeks when you are broke or there is something about your spouse you do not like. Other times you do not even want to talk but he/she wants to talk. These are realities and what makes your relationship stand out is how you deal with the tough times. Be bearing with one another as in, learn to understand and tolerate each other while still maintaining peace.
Allowing your partner to express him/herself promotes a healthy relationship and when you learn to accommodate, respect and understand each other you brew a healthy relationship. This can only happen if you are humble, gentle and patient.
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. ~ Romans 12:10
Take a minute and ask yourself what you love most. Whatever it is; you always give it your best, right? You give it your time, energy and strength; that is devoting yourself to it. Likewise, in your relationship, it is not 50/50 as they say. It is 100/100. Give your everything all you have.
Support him/her like it is your last chance. Give him/her the time like never before. At the end of it all, you will be happy to have given the relationship all you had. What you give is what you get; therefore, give it 100% and get 100% in return. Do not expect that he/she will reciprocate immediately, be patient and believe in yourself. It is possible that you give 80 he/she gives 20. This does not mean you relent; respect his/her decision, talk about it and keep giving your best.
Just the way you commit yourself to healthy living is the same way you should commit to making your relationship healthy by giving it more energy and time. You are either 100% in or out.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Many of us ask ourselves what is love. I have tried searching for the definition of love but I discovered that love has many definitions. However, there are basics of love that are clear. When you love somebody; you act differently to them. You are always patient with them, kind, supportive, wishing them the best and forgiving to them.
Think of that family member who always wrongs you but in your heart, you feel you will always have a soft spot for them. Love does not boast; humble yourself in your relationship. Sometimes you will be right, sometimes wrong. Learn to accept when you are wrong and to let it go when you feel you are right. When you do something, always ask yourself, “What will my spouse feel about it? If he/she did what I am about to do, what would I feel?”. Abandon the ‘don’t care it’s my life’ and think about your partner.
To the ladies and men if any, delete the list of wrongs that your partner has done. Talk it out and do not store it. The records always hurt you. Learn to forgive and let go.
5. More Love
Do everything in love. ~ 1 Corinthians 16:14
As you practice what you have read, do it in love. Do not do it because you are after something. We have identified the basics of love. Love does not revenge and it is not violent.
I may not have identified what to do in exact situations, but with this, you can know if you have been living a healthy relationship. Maybe you thought you were doing your best but you were not showing acts of love. Do not give up on your relationship before you give it your best shot. Love can be complicated but the more you practice to listen, understand, commit and show love, it becomes healthier, easier and more peaceful.
If you are struggling with your relationship or you feel stuck, get your breakthrough by scheduling a session with me. A healthy relationship is necessary for your success. The session will help you gain clarity on what is the next step forward.
Whenever I feel like things are getting tough, I read these verses and recall the roles I have to play. Living by these verses has brought me closer to my partner and strengthened our relationship. A healthy relationship does not imply that everything is perfect, it simply means allowing you and your partner to be in a comfortable space where you can relate and enjoy life together. You do not have to like everything he/she does, but you should learn to handle that well without hurting them or compromising their space.
Comment below any specific situations you would like addressed. Remember to share with friends and family if you enjoyed reading and if these verses helped your relationship.